Friday, December 18, 2009
I just now have been able to lay Lily Soojung down. She has been clinging to me crying off and on for nearly 8 hours. She is so sad and misses her foster mother/"Omma" so much. For a while, she wouldn't even look at me, then when she did, she cried. Tonight, I held her on the bed, and she fell asleep on me, and when she woke up, she looked at me and then put her head back on my chest. It's getting better, but it has been a hard day for this precious little girl.
This morning, Mrs. Jamie and I went out to Doosan Tower, which is the most gigantic shopping mall I've ever seen. It goes straight up high into the air, and the floors are FULL of little shops. It was the neatest place!! We got Lily some tights and socks there (the ones I brought with me were too small), and I was treated to a manicure! As we were leaving the mall, we went to the information desk to ask if there was a flower shop nearby. As I approached the desk, I looked up and saw a little flower shop right in front of me in the mall! The owner had made a beautiful bouquet this morning, and it was just what I was looking for for Lily's foster mother.
After getting the flowers, we hailed a taxi and traveled to the agency. It seemed like it took forever to get there today! When we arrived, Lily and her foster parents were waiting for us in the waiting room. We were taken into the playroom by our social worker, and Lily, her foster mother, and I started playing on the floor. Each time she did anything, she turned and looked at her foster mother to see if she was smiling at her. It was so sweet, but it also made it even harder for what was to come next.
The social worker presented me with the gifts from Lily's foster mother. She gave her so many wonderful gifts today! She dressed her in a pink outfit and jacket with a ruffle on it to go home in today, and she gave us two bags full of goodies for Lily. We have pictures, a vest she knitted herself, toys (her favorite cars she plays with), favorite snacks, diapers, bottles already prepared with formula and lines marked so I would know how much hot and cold water to put in them, 2 cans of formula, 2 outfits and pjs, lullabies, her favorite pink baby blanket she loves, and more from the past year of Lily's life. What a special foster family for a very special little girl. I will always remember the time we spent together and the way they love Lily. I am so thankful for everything they did for this sweet girl of mine. She is just wonderful! She made sure I knew Lily loves bathtime and that she doesn't like dolls or to be hot. ;)
The social worker introduced me to the director of the agency, and they are both the sweetest people. She presented me with a gift and gave Lily a Korean flag, a Korean necklace with her name in Korean and date of birth engraved on the back, and a book about Korea. I was so thrilled to receive so many gifts to share with Lily and to help teach her more about her past and where she came from!
After we had received our gifts and gone over the paperwork (passport, visa, etc), it was time for Lily Soojung to say good-bye to her foster family. Her foster mother carried her to the elevator and then leaned out for me to take her. Lily let me take her, and everyone excitedly said, "Yeaaa!" and then as we got in the elevator, they started waving at her and saying, "bye-bye!" She waved so big and said, "bye-bye," and then the doors closed. Our social worker was still with us so no tears were shed just yet. As soon as she closed the door of the taxi, Soojung started crying so hard. She kept leaning toward the door the social worker closed like she was asking to get back out and go with her. She leaned back away from me and just cried and cried so hard for about 15 minutes. Then I tried singing to her, and that did the trick! I made up a song with her Korean name Soojung, and she fell asleep in no time!
About an hour later, we arrived at our hotel (the taxi driver must have gone the longest way possible because we have made that trip in a half hour!). We went upstairs, and when Soojung saw her reflection of me holding her, she started crying. It was so sad. We went in our room, and she just cried and cried. I tried talking to her in Korean, giving her snacks, playing with toys, and more, but she just needed to cry. So, I just held her. I held her and talked to her and rubbed her hair until she settled down. Whenever she saw something that she had at her foster family's home, she started crying again so for now we have put everything but her blanket away for the time being, and that has helped. She and I were on the bed tonight, and she picked up the tv remote and said, "Wo (Hello)?" and then "bye-bye." It was so cute!! She wants to play, but she keeps remembering her foster family, and when she does she gets upset. She is so smart and already has begun to understand much of what I've said just this afternoon. I am using a Korean-English Dictionary at times too, and that has helped with communicating with her too!
She seemed hungry when she woke up around 5 pm so I asked her in Korean if she wanted some rice, and her face just lit up! She had rice, fruit, and a little juice/water. She was so sweet giving me some of her drink!
Because she loves baths so much, I tried to bathe her tonight. I got into the tub with her because she wouldn't let go of me, and I thought maybe she would relax and play in the water together, but she didn't. She smiled some but kept sobbing, "Omma" and crawling up as high onto my chest as she could so she could bury her head into my neck. She would look up at me and then plop her head onto my chest. After bath, she drank her bottle and fell asleep on me in her pjs. She woke up not long after and cried so hard she threw up all over the two of us. Sweet girl, I think she got hot or just worked herself up so much she got sick. She was fine afterward and lay on my chest until she fell asleep again with me rubbing her hair and her rubbing mine.
She is definitely starting to transition her attachment to me already and hasn't tried to get down or go to her MeMe (she won't let me put her down even to use the bathroom), but she was not ready to say good-bye to her foster mother today, and it's so hard seeing her grieve. I just feel so bad for her right now leaving everything she has ever known, and I pray she and her foster family's hearts will heal soon so they can feel happy again. I hope it will get better tomorrow. It seemed to get better over time today so hopefully tomorrow will be a good day!